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Child development

Adopted children searching for Birth Parents

Dec 31st, 2010
by Raz.
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This is a question that many adopted parents including experts have mixed opinions on. Should we tell them and encourage them to search their birth parents? If so, when and how. How can we encourage them to search for their birth parents if we don’t even know how and where ourselves. If you happened to have adopted your child from China, where do you start the search?

Normally adopted children don’t have the urge to start questioning until they reach adolescence. A time that’s challenging even with your birth children. Parents are often tempted to escape perhaps by abandoning their teenagers who are having toddler-like tantrums, but you and your family will benefit more if you remain calm, stand up for the values you have taught, and continue communication efforts.

For some adolescents, searching can be useful, while for many, the urgent activities and decisions of daily life are so pressing that they feel uninterested in or unable to confront such a heavy emotional undertaking. Waiting till they have reached adulthood when their lives will be more settled may be better for the latter group.

Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

Don’t be afraid to ask for help with your adopted child

Nov 30th, 2010
by Raz.
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Many adopting parents feel strongly that it’s their duty to take good care of their adopted children. And they are afraid to ask for help when they need some. Parents, will sometimes all feel overwhelmed when it comes to child rearing. Especially if this is their first time being parents. Every parent needs help once in awhile. Adopted children just make things a little more complicated especially if the children were adopted older.

If you feel overwhelmed and see behavior problems, seek help. You can get help from organizations, support groups, other adopted parents, and grandparents. Talk to other parents and teachers.

When do you need help with parenting

Oct 22nd, 2010
by Raz.
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In recent years, there are more organizations and sources offering adopted parents in parenting. Usually it’s the parent who first notices something is not right. Or sometimes a family member might point out something is wrong with the adopted child. Don’t feel that you’re a bad parent if you feel overwhelmed in parenting. Being a parent is exciting and challenging enough.

Educate yourself as much as possible on child development stages. Sometimes children’s certain behaviors are part of the developing stage, sometime not. You may see behavior that is unusual or not characteristic of your child; sometimes it is the increasing degree of a certain behavior that is troubling. Asking for help is healthy, for you and the child.

Source: Child Welfare Information Gateway

Child development between ages 2 to 6

Sep 29th, 2010
by Raz.
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Now your child is well adapted to his or her new home and family. You have noticed many changes in your adopted child in the first two years. But you are going to see more changes during the pre-school years. Your child has learned to speak and will ask many questions. He will listen to more adult conversations more than you think. He or she will constantly ask questions. You, as the parent, should be prepared to answer them. Indifferent or uninterested in your child’s questions will result in negative emotions in your child later on.

If your child happens to ask you a question that you don’t know the answer, look it up with your child. Children between 2 and 5 years of age have fears, especially about being abandoned, getting lost, or no longer being loved by their parents. They also engage in “magical” thinking and do not distinguish reliably between reality and fantasy. They may be afraid of giants, monsters, witches, or wild animals.

Source: Child Welfare Information Gateway

Create tension-free environment makes a child feel secure

Sep 8th, 2010
by Raz.
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During a baby’s first year, the primary task is to develop a sense of trust in the world. As parents or  a caretaker, your job is to provide an environment that is predictable and reliable. Infants accomplish this through attachment to their caretakers. That’s why adopting infants is much easier for establishing bonding between the baby and the parents. During their early months, children have an inborn capacity to “bond” to ensure their survival.

If you’re lucky enough to have adopted infants, this is the best time to interact with your baby through feeding, smiling, and cooing. Give him or her consistent attention and establish a sense of trust. Show your attention, affection, and love and create a tension-free environment for the baby. Respond to your baby’s cries. Hug and smile to your baby as much as you can to make him or her to feel content.

Source: Child Welfare Information Gateway

Your adopted new baby is finally home, what do you do next?

Aug 6th, 2010
by Raz.
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After months of paperwork, traveling, preparation and anxiety, Now the baby is here. Your life is beginning to settle down. What can you expect next? You may find your thoughts moving into the future. Many adopted parents ask themselves these questions. “When shall I tell my child that s/he is adopted? How will s/he feel about it?”

Whether children are adopted as infants or when they are older, whether they are healthy or have physical or psychological problems, their adoption is bound to influence their development. You need to understand how and why.

We will show you the developmental stages of children and what can be expected in each stage is important to all new parents in the blogs continuously.

Source: Child Welfare Information Gateway.